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A Fresh Take on Parenting...Together

With a new year just beginning (HOW?!), I really wanted my husband and I to sit down and reflect a little on the past year. It was my way of sorta… uncovering our goals for 2019. Because let’s be real. We have two toddlers. We very often find ourselves in a never-ending cycle that looks something like this:

  • Wake up
  • Husband goes to work
  • I do stuff with the kids all day
  • “How was your day?”
  • Dinnertime
  • Get the kids ready for bed
  • Pass out

So, it’s important to set aside some time to check-in with each other and see who could use a little help or may be struggling. Just for funsies, I came up with a few questions for my husband and I to answer completely separately. Later, we came back and shared our answers... and let’s just say, the tissue box was needed, in the best way possible. And for real, if you can spare 30 mins each, you should do this activity with your partner. Check out our Instagram (@fit4momchapelhill) for how you can participate in this activity with our village!

If you're itching to jump ahead and get straight to answering, here are the questions:

  • What are you most proud of your partner for?
  • Describe your perfect day.
  • What is your favorite parenting memory?
  • What is your biggest goal for 2019?
  • I feel most successful when…

And here’s how we answered!

What are you most proud of your partner for?

Me: I’m most proud of Richard when he prioritizes himself. I know this is no easy task for him, since he works full-time and helps out a ton around the house. But on those rare occasions when he takes the time to go for a run, sit down to read a book that he’s been dying to read, or go out for a drink with an old friend, I feel happy and at peace knowing that he is doing something specifically for himself and will return feeling revitalized.

Hubs: My wife is a force of nature. She is the source of most of the forward momentum in our family. Not only does she manage both boys, and keep our beautiful home, but she somehow also finds that extra creative spark. Whether it’s an original activity with the boys, or a new place for us all to explore together, she always pops up to save the day. All the days. She saves all the days.

Describe your perfect day.

Me: We took the kids to Busch Gardens Williamsburg last month and had a BLAST! A day spent exploring the park and riding the rides is definitely my new favorite day! But if we’re talking locally… I’d say a slow, coffee-fueled morning at home, a FIT4MOM family Stroller Strides class, followed brunch at Breakaway Cafe and lots of outdoor play time in the afternoon!

Hubs: Good coffee, happy children, and getting stuff done. Not a ton of stuff, but something meaningful. I have to have structure in my day so that I feel like I’ve been productive. Thankfully, Cassie has my back in that department.

What is your favorite parenting memory?

Me: We took a spur-of-the-moment weekend trip to Asheville when I was pregnant with our second, Owen. It was my idea, and the entire drive there, Richard was skeptical about how the trip would go (our first hotel stay with Colin, who was ~17mo at the time) and making it pretty obvious that he was dreading it. I, on the other hand, was so excited to do something spontaneous as a family (our last hurrah before baby #2!) and… it ended up being one of the best trips EVER! Yep, even Richard admitted to loving it.

Hubs: One of my all-time favorites is Colin’s first true belly laugh. At five or six months after he was born, it’s fair to say we were still in the weeds. One of us said something goofy to him while he was rocking away in his swing, and he giggled like we’d never heard him giggle before. It took us completely by surprise. We kept on goofing off, and his giggling just went off the charts. Cassie and I both laugh-cried until we ached. It was one of those moments when we looked at each other and knew that everything was going to be okay.

What is your biggest goal for 2019?

Me: Get a handle on our finances. We both hate talking about money. It makes me really uncomfortable, and I hate that dealing with money seems to come with being an adult. Ugh. But learning how to steer our finances in a direction that will help our family’s long-term goals will feel SO rewarding and empowering!

Hubs: I’d like to finally get into a robust routine of mindfulness meditation. I recognize the importance of acknowledging thoughts and emotions as they arise, and not just reflexively responding to them. The ability to attenuate stress or anxiety down to a minute or two, instead of hours, seems like a skill worth working toward. I also want to improve my physical fitness.

I feel most successful when…

Me: As a stay-at-home-mom, I feel most successful when the boys and I can make it through an entire day with no tears and a ton of laughter. I aim to do one activity for me (ie: a FIT4MOM class or a walk w/ double stroller), one activity for the boys (ie: toddler yoga, story time, park time), and one errand that benefits our family (such as picking up a prescription, grabbing milk at the store, delivering an overdue "thank you" card, or getting freakishly ahead on prepping dinner). Oh, I also feel amazingly successful when I can meal-prep! That makes me feel like Superwoman!

Hubs: I know that I’ve made a meaningful contribution to our family, and played at least a small part in another happy and healthy day for the boys.